There is so much uncertainly in life no matter how many times you think things through. However, the one thing that I was always certain about was getting married to Andrew. In 2007 we decided to take a major step to walk down the isle and defy all social and cultural norms to start our story as a couple.
After we celebrated our first wedding anniversary I said to Andy, “If we make it to ten years, let’s go to Paris”. So, here we are – ten years later, happy and stronger than celebrating our love in Paris.
We both have grown and learned so much during these ten years.
Lesson One: Love Conquers All
It seems so simple and cliché, but it is true. No matter the issue, big or small, good or bad we commit to getting through it together. LOVE is what we remind ourselves of and use our energies to be grateful for each other.
Lesson Two: Marriage is not a Fairytale
I am a hopeless romantic but learned that each day does not end with roses, rainbows and unicorns. There will be disagreements, challenges, surprises, illness, loss and sometimes life-altering moments. Not always in our relationship but stresses of everyday life. Marriage is real life and we have learned to take on life as a team.
Lesson Three: Communication is Key:
I am definitely a stewer. I prefer having internal monologues work through what I am thinking and feeling. Usually it is my inability to clearly communicate my expectations that leads me to brood. “Come on Andy, can’t you read my mind!!!” ?
Andy cannot stand the cold-shouldering. He is the logical, figure-it-out guy who wants to offer immediate solutions and encourages me to talk it out. Everyone has an off day and I do the same for him when I see a cloud looming. I have learned that having honest and open conversations no matter how difficult it can be (the truth can be scary) has brought us so much closer.
Lesson Four: Being each other’s Health Coach
A healthy couple is a happy couple. Although we are not gym buddies, we enjoy cooking healthy meals together and going for long walks on the beach.
Lesson Five: It is Okay to go to Bed Angry
The best is “Never go to bed angry”. But sometimes it is okay to go to bed with an unresolved issue rather than pushing each other to talk which can lead to someone saying something hurtful. Talking over breakfast after we have had some time to think always works best for us. Our communication skills are always better after we eat.
Lesson six: Supporting each other’s Dreams
We each have our own dreams and ideas of what we want to do with our lives, but we make it a priority to share and support each other to help make our dreams a reality.
Lesson Seven: Never forget to Cuddle
At the beginning or sometimes at the end of each day, we just lay in each other’s arms and not say a word. When I snuggle against him I feel a sense of peace. He is here. I am here. Everything is going to be alright.
Lesson Eight: Laughing Together
He can always make me laugh even at inappropriate times. Life is tough and having a sense of humor helps us see the lighter side of things.
Lesson Nine: Opposites attract
We have come to realize over the years that we are more different than we thought. We don’t always enjoy the same things. Andy does not share my passion for travel and adventure and I don’t share his love for F1 and bicycle racing. However, we appreciate each other’s differences. He is the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground and I am the wings that keeps his heart in the clouds.
Lesson Ten: Take lots of Pictures Together
“We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time’s forever frozen still” – ED Sheeran
Make memories and capture those precious moments.
Please feel free to comment on your relationship lessons below. Wishing you all a week full of love and light